it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
