Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
