it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Text me some of your sweat
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
