I wannas sexs uuuuu
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
