Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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