My hair reeks of homosexuality.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize