ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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