the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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