Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
