Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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