I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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