the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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