I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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