my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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