The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
