btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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