i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Dignity is for republicans.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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