Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize