thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
