oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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