I'm going to rape someone's good day.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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