Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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