It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm both gender and math confused
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
