she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
