i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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