yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
