Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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