forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
