but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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