I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I looked at my own cervix.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
