Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
