Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she smelled like a LAN party
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
