question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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