dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
