you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
