I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
