Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize