After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
