Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
