careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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