i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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