i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
