I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
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