You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
There's always time for handjobs
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
