I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
