Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
