oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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