Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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