PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
