I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
