I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
