OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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