Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
So squirting runs in the family.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
