I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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