I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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