happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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