you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize