I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
