We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
