it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
