Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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