hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
