im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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